Saturday, February 14, 2009

Twenty Five.......

Hey, Its been a very long time since I last wrote anything. I have been wanting to do it for a long time now. Should have done it on New Year. Can't say that I haven't had time. I have had tons of time. But just didn't have the energy or drive to write anything. I think I started to loose myself out there.

It's my birthday today. So I should write. I must write. That would be a sin, if I didn't write on my birthday. Thats always like a ritual. Should have actually done that yesterday. But was kinda going into memory lane yesterday with Avi. That was quite funny actually going back to the oldest chat archives.

Stuck in a moment... is playing on the laptop. Yes, I got a laptop in december. I like the PC better though. It was more fun being in front of that. Miss those dark thoughtful nights that I never thought I would get out. It would be completely ridiculous if I started to summarize the last 4 months. So, I wouldn't do that.

It was a very boring normal birthday like every year. Now, I return on some weekends to my home, and feel like a complete stranger. And then I go back to gurgaon, and I feel like I got to get out of there too. So, where is it that I really belong???? No clue. Life never makes sense.

So, now I am sitting here thinking about who can I talk to. Nobody. I haven't really been in touch with anybody in the last few months. Haven't even been in touch with myself. Amit, my roomie ofcourse has been a good friend. But I wouldn't have much to talk to him about either. I don't think I connect with anyone. Its something that nothing can be done about...

So, I am 25. That's a lot. Twenty Five. Still feel insecured and kiddish. Need to grow up really fast this year. Need to calm myself. Need to do a hundred things right. But don't need to really get mad at myself for failing.

And oh yeah the wings, didn't really come out yet. But I guess that's cos I haven't allowed them to...