You just got pwned

I cudnt think of a title. I was just thinking about my blog title. I says a simple line which means so much more.

What it says is I am ok. Not really. I think I aom ok. But I might not really be ok. I might be pretending to be ok. And what really defines ok. Ok isnt good or bad. Ok is just ok. You say I am ok to people that you do not wish to show your emotions to. Ok is a way of existence that is not very fulfilling. If you asked me, everything is ok. There havent been extremely happy eventa in my life in the last few yeara. Infact I cant remember a happy event ever. When I was truly happy. You know, pure bliss. So I am living a life thats ok.

I dont like my job. I dont like my family. I am not excited about my upcoming marriage either.

Dont it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

I am just disappointed. Not terribly mad to be honest now. I got past that realization of doom which occurred to me last winter. I am not guilty, I am not depressed. I am just disappointed with life. But to be honest if I dont know how will get out of here now. It could be excruciatingly painful slow death here. I have to have to have to run away.

Promise me you will. I dont know where but somewhere. Life's dying.

All you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be

Purpose of life?

I dont understand the meaning of anything anymore. I am just tired. Very tired.

Whats the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway

I screamed a lot today. I cant scream louder than that. Maybe I could. I wish I got hit by that car this evening.

I am just tired. When am I gonna get my due in life?