Wrecking the Life : Fault Finding and Much More

This Sunday I saw Gandhi My Father. A movie which looks behind the public life of M.K.Gandhi and looks into his personal failures as a family man. The movie was pretty nice and emotional. A sad tale of a life gone wrong. A Life Gone Wrong.....I think I want to analyse these words in coming days too...

Midway through the movie, my cousin remarked to me that Isko dekh kar chacha ki yaad aa rahi hai (Seeing this reminds him of my father)! I cudnt agree more....Almost throughout the movie I was trying to glance at my brother's face, who was sitting a few seats to my right. I wondered if he thought the same thing I did...I don't really know.

Gandhi never really understood his kids, and it made for a tragic family story, and he is said to have renounced his family!!! Can you do that?? I wonder....

Well, being a good person is never the same as being a good parent. Though it probably gives you some score, but that's just not it. It takes a lot of skill. Papa always failed to understand either of us. And he always kinda pushed us back, telling us we can't do this, we can't do that. And never kinda encouraged us to do something new, something good. I think whatever good we were capable of doing as kids died way back then.

It wasn't sort of a fear or anything from his side. But I dont know if it makes sense, but it was a feeling of not upsetting him by our actions. Not that he ever got angry or anything. Infact I have hardly ever seen my father angry, I have seen him upset, but never angry. He never kinda was happy with our achievement nor was he sad at our failures. Ummm, he kinda never really tried to reach out. I think its easy to say kids lose their way cos of bad company but I think its a parenting failure. Well thats a debate that has been for a long time, and I am nobody to deliver the final verdict.

If I could ever go back into time, I would like to go back to 1993 and start all over from there, and maybe I would try to fix up things that went wrong. Maybe I learnt from my brother's experiments from life, and I completely closed up on life. I just hope everything goes well for him, and I got a super friend in God to pull me up whenever I am at the lowest, so I think I can survive. Just hope for the best :)