Tamed Dreams

I feel like sharing silence....Its an eerie feeling. I guess I have been bunking too much. Being at home, nothing to do! And even if your out there, even then the silence never really leaves me, unless I choose to. And its somehow funny that it would be with complete strangers that I would wish to part with it rather that people who are aware of my existence.

It been a very low time for me. You set up goals, you are unable to complete them. It's less than an year left for the inevitable. I have to grow up. Somehow. It's not easy, living in your own fantasy world, undisturbed, unaware. But how long can you stay there. I would like to live in my oblivion for ever. It's been so long, like I have been stuck in a time warp or something.

You wish you had someone to share silence with. Not talk! Cos everything I speak somehow comes wrong out of my mouth. You should understand me, when you understand me.....

Is it constricting me? Or is there no one inside anymore. I really fear its the latter. What if you lost your soul somewhere down the line.... And then? What do you do? How do you find it? How do you start your search? Not many people understand that a soul exists, and the trouble is that once you are aware of its existence then you cannot deny it. And if its not there, then STOP, everything goes black, and your actions are no longer governed by those dreams that your soul would choose. But rather by a system derived by this world that seeks to tame you down, to kill what is left of you inside and then to finally become a zombie. A zombie I refuse to be. And I refuse to have my dreams be tamed. But I need my soul to fight back. Because if you dont have a soul then there is no fighting back. SO please kiddo, don't lose your soul....As snape would say - NO UNFORGIVING CURSES POTTER....Keep your soul clean, and then whatever the end maybe, we'll take it fair and square...

I remember that german story I read....A guy has bad food to eat and he says thats a problem and curses, and then another guy walks upto him and says - If your house is burnt down, if all your family members are dead, if you havent eaten for 3 days then you have got trouble, everything else is inconvenience.....

We can't often change things in the past, and we have to accept our failures and the paths wrong or right taken by us, but whats done is done, and lets not let that decide our future course of action...Dont lose your soul....